I was talking to someone the other day about ‘having it all’ and they were saying how ‘having it all’ was impossible and that something always has to give. As someone who spent years running around pretending to be superwoman I almost agree with this however I actually think a more accurate view is:
You CAN have it all, BUT not all at once.
I think of this a little like a balloon. A balloon with all of the areas of our life inside. If we try and concentrate on expanding all (or too many) areas of our lives at the same time they get larger and take up more space in the balloon. As they get larger the balloon expands and expands until the whole lot goes bang.
So, how to know what to ‘have’ first?
Such a tricky one and one I don’t think there is one sure fire answer for. The three things that I have been finding useful are:
1. Listening to my heart/going with my intuition.
I spent years concentrating on what I ‘should’ do or what others told me to do that I’d stopped listening to the little voice inside of me, the tug at my heart or that knowing feeling deep in my gut. By leaving a little space for quiet and tuning in to the tell tale signs I’ve been ignoring I get a little more guidance.
2. Being more selfish (to a point)
I don’t think I’ll ever be someone that ignores the needs of others, but trying to be more selfish is something I’m working on. It sounds strange. However if you don’t put yourself first who will? By trying to please others so often it can lead to compromising your won needs and maybe even resentment. Not good for anyone surely?
3. Using my CDFs as a compass
If i’m unsure what are of my life to focus on asking myself how each of the areas or decisions will make me feel is very useful. The Desire Map process left me understanding what my Core Desired Feelings are and by seeing what is most likely to help me feel the way I want to I can more easily make a decision to move me towards my desires.
Have you ever tried to ‘have it all’? Are you trying to ‘have it all now’? I’d love to know your thoughts.
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