Who else has spent years doing the things they ‘should’?
I was always the (relatively) good girl. Go to school/college/university, get graduate job, buy flat, get promoted a few times, buy house, get bigger job.
Life all mapped out and planned. Doing as I ‘should’.
I never once stopped and asked what I wanted to do. I’m certainly not saying I’m not grateful for everything I’ve had and have. I’m also not saying I haven’t enjoyed my life so far. But, I definitely haven’t proactively thought about what I WANT. I was very proactive in planning the next step on the path (As I’ve talked about before in ‘Why I’ve Ditched The Goals’, I even had a spreadsheet for my goals. I planned fun better than Monica on Friends!).
I just didn’t ask is I was on the right path.
This is where banning ‘should’ comes in. As soon as I hear myself starting to say ‘I really should…’ or ‘I ought to….’ it’s now a red flag for me. When I start to think “I should…” I find asking the simple question ‘Why?’ very powerful. It helps me to work out if I really want to do something.
As soon as you start doing things for other people there is a risk it’s not what you really want. There’s a risk you’ll end up resenting it and maybe then. Could you ask “is there another way?” or even “how can I say no” when you feel you ‘should’ do something.
Who says you should anyway?
We all know someone who doesn’t listen to what people say they ‘should’ do. Sometimes we even think they’re a little crazy.
But, I really admire those people who can calmly do whatever they want. They don’t care what others think. They just stand by their own values and morals. Steadfast. So often people respect them more for it.
It’s something I’m practicing. More and more I’m following my own path and it feels wonderful.
I’d love to know your thoughts. Pop over to Facebook and join the conversation.
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